Friday, June 16, 2017

Getting Really Real

I hope you've come to me because you have a dream.  A dream that lights you up.  A dream that has your soul on fire, that you know that you have to share to the world. 
But maybe you're afraid.
Or maybe your house is a wreck (I know mine is) and it feels frivolous to spend time working on bringing that dream to fruition.
Maybe your laundry is piled up (again, mine is).
Maybe you have an unsupportive spouse who issues ultimatums and thinks your dream is impractical. And they certainly don't want you spending any money getting involved with a coach or a mastermind group or anything.
Here's a little secret, though.
You have this dream because the Source of all that is Infinite in the Universe (however you choose to refer to it) has laid it upon your heart.  It's been lain upon YOUR heart.  And the reason it's been lain upon your heart is because YOU are the one...the ONLY one...who can bring this to life.  The Source of all that is Infinite in the Universe has chosen you to bring your dream to life.  Now maybe you're working as an independent contractor in a direct sales company, and you think, "Yeah, right, I'm one of a thousand (or million or whatever) people working for this company.  What do you mean, the Universe has chosen me to bring this dream to life and I'm the only one who can do it?  What about all the other consultants/beauty guides/presenters/etc?"
The opportunity that you said yes to, the opportunity that was shared with you and lit a fire in you, came to you at the most opportune moment because the world needed your unique vision for how you build and run your business.  When I was an independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay, I once heard a sales director say that she had asked someone if they had had a facial with Mary Kay before and the woman told her yes, she had, and that she had had a negative experience.  The sales director responded, "Well, you've never had one of my facials."  I wasn't ready for the lesson in that at the time.  All I could think about was how arrogant it sounded, but now I realize that while the company may have guidelines for how to run your business so it's somewhat uniform among its sales force, each person brings their own unique personality to the table.  There are people out there who need to are waiting to hear about those products and opportunity FROM YOU.  They are hungry for it.  And you are the one to bring it to them. 
When the Source of all that is Infinite (whom I call God, while respecting all the names He is referred to by others) laid the dream on my heart to mentor creative dreamers who stay at home with their kids or work from home, I looked around at my life and told God that He was crazy!  But I stepped out in faith, because I’m not one to get a calling from the Lord and go hiding my light under a bushel basket (anymore LOL, more on that another day).  I showed up at the page to do my daily journaling.  I looked for journal prompts, and then one day, just before Thanksgiving, BAM!  Ideas for a 12-part Facebook Live series hit me.  And I just started doing them.  Just me, in my kitchen, unscripted, with all my life messiness in the background, because the Lord didn’t tell me how to do what He wanted me to do, he just said, “Do it,” so I did. 
And then I learned how to do better, so I did better.  I wrote scripts.  I made sure I looked pretty.  And the Lives got better.
I started joining groups where I could surround myself with sunny, crazy positive people so that I could raise my energetic vibration, because having depression and anxiety as I do, it’s soooooooo easy for me to go over to the dark place. 
One day, a group showed up in my Suggested Groups, and it was called the Slay Baby Collective.  I had to find out what that was all about, and when I read the description, the overture to Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet played in my head.  It was like the mother ship was calling me home.  In that group, I found these power*full, amazeballs boss babes who speak words that build, bless, and comfort.  I started to make friends with them.  All of a sudden, my Facebook news feed was flooded with all this positivity and belief in possibility and magic and sparkly things.  I started to believe I could uplevel my box-wine life for one filled with champagne, roses, and, as the founder of the Slay Baby Collective, Cara Alwill Leyba, says, "limitless luxe."  And I started to believe that Succulent Diva Coaching could be successful.

You came to me because you have a dream.  This dream is your holy purpose.  It's what gets you out of bed in the morning.  It's what lights a fire in your soul.  Never, ever, ever let anyone pull you away from it, talk you out of it, or stop you from making time for it.

Monday, June 5, 2017

5 Things I Keep in My Extreme Stress Kit

by Elizabeth Brown-Shook
Being a stay-at-home mom is no joke.  I spend half my day running.  We start at (or around; mostly around) 7 AM, running my eight-year-old to her school, which, by the way, is across town.  Then we come back across town to a block from our house, where we drop my son off at school.  Finally, I drop the three-year-old at Head Start.  I have to physically take her into school and sign her in.   Only at that point do I finally, finally, get some time to myself.  If I'm lucky enough to not have an appointment or other errands to run, I come home, and that's when I write.  I make a cup of coffee, I sit down, and I journal.  I do all my journaling at 750words.com.
Many days, I do have an appointment or other errands to run, though, so I bring with me something that can help me manage the stresses of the day.  I was first inspired to create my Extreme Stress Kit when I saw an episode of Grey's Anatomy from Season 9, where Dr. Yang was still working at the Mayo Clinic with Feeney from Boy Meets World, and the two of them were treating a pair of doomsday preppers.  They had what they called a "bug-out bag," in which I'm assuming they put doomsday prepping items such as food, water, extra clothes, etc. (I don't know, I'm not a doomsday prepper...I can barely think past tonight's dinner.)  But when I'm extremely stressed, what I do could most definitely be termed "bugging out," so in my house, my extreme stress kit is affectionately known as my "bug-out bag," not to be confused with the similar bag geared toward doomsday preppers.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.  The only known treatment for borderline personality disorder, in addition to  medication and talk therapy, is a type of group therapy known as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  I have been through two courses of DBT in my life, and it has four modules, one of them being Distress Tolerance.  When a distressing event (one that would have normally led BPD sufferers to engage in self-destructive behaviors in the past) occurs, we do three things: Distract, Self-Soothe, and IMPROVE the moment (DBT has lots of acronyms).  In this post, I'll be discussing the first two components of managing extreme stress, distracting and self-soothing.  For information on IMPROVE the moment, visit this resource from DBTselfhelp.com.
My two favorite things to distract myself are coloring and blowing bubbles.  Supplies to do this are the first two things I keep in my Extreme Stress Kit.  I always make sure I have a coloring book (luckily adult coloring books are all the rage these days) and a package of colored pencils in my bag.  Coloring actually forces me to concentrate only on the present moment, and bubbles are only present for a short moment before they pop.  Instead of catastrophizing about how the stressful event is going to impact my future, these two activities force me to be mindful of the present.  Extremely helpful.
The next part of distress tolerance is to self-soothe. DBT protocol indicates using the five senses to soothe yourself. There are three things I carry in my Extreme Stress Kit that I use for self-soothing.
First, a super-soft purple blanket with peace signs and hearts. You can see this either on my Facebook page or Twitter feed (it's the same picture of me with it wrapped around me; it was taken on a day that I was having a minor surgical procedure). This was a Christmas gift to me from my eight-year-old daughter. I love it. There's a scene in the movie "Home" where the leader of the Boov (an alien race), Captain Smek, asks for his "stress blankie," which turns out to be a roll of bubble wrap. My super-soft purple blanket with peace signs and hearts is affectionately known as my "stress blankie," and when I know I might be in a super-stressful situation, I make sure I stick my stress blankie into my Extreme Stress Kit. It indulges two of my senses; sight, because purple is my favorite color, and touch, because it is so soft!
The next thing I keep in my Extreme Stress Kit is a bottle of the Stress Away essential oil blend from Young Living. My good friend Shelley got me hooked on Young Living oils a little over two years ago, and I've never looked back. Stress Away, an essential oil blend exclusive to Young Living, includes copaiba, lime, cedarwood, vanilla, ocotea, and lavender oils. I never leave the house without it. Also, diffused with some extra lavender, these two always ensure a rest*full night's sleep for me. I use this oil both aromatically and topically, on my wrists and the back of my neck.  If you have questions about Young Living, don't hesitate to ask.
Finally, I always make sure I have my phone and its charger. If I'm anywhere with a decent wi-fi connection, I can listen to Pandora or Amazon Music, pull up soothing music videos on YouTube, or watch Netflix.
I would love to hear what kinds of things you might include in your own Extreme Stress Kit. Please comment below, on my Facebook page, or hit me up on Twitter @succulentdiva.
And, of course, if you are interested in DBT or think you might have borderline personality disorder, please seek the assistance of a qualified mental health professional.