Funny Friday - Five Things I Wish They'd Told Me Before I Became a Parent

Before I met my husband, I had pretty much given up on any idea of getting married or having kids.  I was in the process of making my peace with it.  Then we met, all the sparks flew, and we got married and then got pregnant on our honeymoon.  Our daughter was born on May, 19, 2009.  We went on to have two more kids, a boy on May 10, 2011, and another girl on August 21, 2013.  I managed to learn a lot about parenting from my parents before they passed away (all too soon, as I was only 19 when my dad died and 23 when my mom did).  But there are a few things I wish they'd taught me...things I wish I'd known before I embarked on this legendary journey they call parenthood!

This is meant to be a Funny Friday post, so please know that a) I love my children more than life itself, and b) my tongue is firmly implanted in my cheek here.

1. Three year olds say the same things over, and over, and over again.  Just after my 30th birthday, before I met my husband, I went to see a friend who had a three-year-old and she sang the last line to the theme from Bob the Builder incessantly.  At the time, I thought it was cute.  My youngest singing nonsense made-up lyrics at the top of her lungs?  Not so much.

2. You will watch the same episodes of the same mind-numbingly stupid TV shows over and over again.  I never realized how annoying that is until I had kids.  Granted, I can still binge-watch Friends, Grey's Anatomy, and the Harry Potter movies ad infinitum, but some of these shows my kids watch really grate on my nerves.  I can't tell you how many ridiculous episodes of Sponge Bob Square Pants I've watched (this one is particularly hated by the adults in this house, at the risk of incurring the wrath of millions).  And we confine it to the upstairs TVs!  Luckily, we have a few that we adults like, such as Bubble Guppies, Paw Patrol, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

3. At some point during each day - I'm serious, EVERY.  DAMN.  DAY. - you will end up sticky.  They will cajole and whine and plead until you make them French toast for breakfast, and then every surface in your house is sticky, and you get it on your hands, or anyplace else you touch.  If it's not maple syrup, they're spilling juice or soda or running around the house with a piece of Laffy Taffy that some well-meaning adult gave them at one function or another...

4. Quiet in your house means the apocalypse is near.  Never trust kids under 10 that are too quiet.  Quiet in a house full of little kids is death.  It means they have gotten into trouble and are trying to cover their tracks without you finding out, or they're doing something that they know is going to get them into trouble!

And taking the tongue out of my cheek...

5. I always was jealous of my older sister and younger brother.  My mom was always exhorting me to be more like my older sister.  And my brother...he was the prince.  He could do no wrong.  I honestly thought that my parents loved my sister and brother more than me.  But what I learned as I had my own family was as that the family size increased, my capacity to love actually grew more.  Even so, I am reassuring my kids of this all the time.  When I met my husband, I had never loved anyone like I loved him.  Until we had our daughter.  Then I loved her more.  Until I had my son, then I loved him even more, and I loved my daughter and husband more too!  Our baby girl, who is now 3, completed our little family.  We have our ups and downs but most of the time, we're doing OK!  And there's always a lot of love.

The Importance of Practicing Gratitude

In my live series on my Facebook page and in my Facebook group, I have shared about three things that keep my emotional health stable.  I call it my trifecta of emotional wellness.  The three legs of the trifecta are journaling, prayer, and expressing gratitude.

I began keeping a gratitude practice around 2005.  And something I noticed about practicing gratitude was that as you showed the Source of All That Is Infinite in the Universe (however you choose to refer to said source; I prefer God, but respect all other names) what you were grate*full for, that source would give you more reasons to be grate*full. 

I had gotten out of practice with my gratitudes.  I couldn't find a good way to express them that felt right to me.  I had tried writing them down in a notebook.  I joined a Facebook group called The Collecting Gratitude Collective.  I tried keeping them in my journal.  Nothing was working.

I decided this past week that I needed to start practicing what I preached and I got really intentional about it, and, when I went to bed on Thursday, I actively set my mind on going into The Collecting Gratitude Collective and posting five things I was grate*full for. 

On Saturday, my kids had been invited to a birthday celebration for my youngest daughter's best friend.  It was at Eldridge Park, which has a midway in the summertime with a few rides.  One of the rides is a fast-moving carousel.  I've never been on a carousel like it.  It's one of my favorite things about living in Elmira.

Alas, I didn't get to go.  We'd had laundry building up for a few weeks (IKR?) and so I dropped my husband and the kids off at the park and, after procrastinating as long as possible by getting gas and stopping at Wegman's to get lunch, I headed to the laundromat.

I had NINE loads of laundry, ah ah ah.  By the time I got to the laundromat and got every stitch washing, it was time to go pick my husband and the kids up from the park.  So I picked them up and took them home, and then I went back to the laundromat. 

It was then that I met Miss Roxanne.

At first, it was just a cursory exchange of pleasantries and some polite conversation.  I got my nine loads of laundry all into dryers and got them going.  As I loaded the last couple of loads into the dryer, the first loads started to be dry, so I started to pull them out and fold them.  I was at the laundromat without the kids, so I was painstakingly taking my time to fold each thing neatly, as opposed to hurriedly shoving clothes into bags like I do when I have the kids with me.  Usually, by the time things are dry, they have had it up to their eyeballs with the laundromat and just want to go home. 

As I folded the first load, the second, third, and fourth load finished drying.  I just patiently worked on my folding, and then an amazing thing happened.

Miss Roxanne, while waiting for her stuff to wash, started to pull my stuff out and fold it alongside me. She paused long enough to transfer her things from washer to dryer, and then jumped right back in.  All told, she probably folded about half my laundry, and then she even helped me bag it up and load it into my car!  And by helping me load it into my car, I mean doing the lion's share of the work!

Of my seven bags of laundry, I only had to load two...she did the rest!

Without Miss Roxanne's help, I probably would have been at that laundromat until it closed.  As it was, by the time I started folding, it was almost 6 PM.  This was not your ordinary run of the mill random act of kindness.  This was a HUGE random act of kindness.  I firmly believe that this was the result of being intentional and active my gratitude practice.  I list five things I'm grate*full for every day.  This was worth all five gratitudes and then some! 

First of all, I probably would have closed the laundromat, still being there folding.

Secondly, everyone's clothes were sorted into their own bag, with separate bags for the towels and blankets.  This makes it so much easier to put the clothes away!

Third, it turned out that she was washing nap mats for her sister's daycare, and it turned out to be the same daycare where my daughter's best friend goes.  So we had a really nice conversation about how cute and sweet my daughter's best friend is and how much fun she and my daughter had together at Head Start.  (It was actually the same little girl whose birthday my family had been celebrating at Eldridge Park.)

Then, today, I cut a turn short in a parking lot and ran my car up on a curb, popping the right rear tire.  Thank God, no one was hurt.  Thank God, we were at Barnes and Noble, and Pick-a-Part was less than a mile away.  Thank God, they had a tire that fit my car and cut me a deal that I could afford.  Thank God for the kind soul who stopped to help us when we couldn't use my old rusty jack to lift the car high enough and offered us his floor jack.  Then he mounted the new tire for us! 

I almost didn't do my gratitudes last night, promising myself I'd do them in the morning.  I am so grate*full I made myself do them before I fell asleep!  You'd better believe that tonight, I'll do them first thing!

By the way, that kind soul who helped us with his floor jack turned out to be a cousin by marriage of someone I used to work with.  To quote SARK, "We are all so indelibly connected to one another."

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My 7 Favorite Places to Visit in the Summer

This post is part of Blog Promo Community's 100 Days of Blogging.  Hopefully I can enhance some of these earlier blogs with pictures during the picture blogging phase!

I recently learned that July is National Outdoor Month, so I thought I would share with you 7 great places to visit that are right in my backyard.   I'm going to start close to my home and branch out.  :)

If you're feeling a little under the weather mentally and not quite up to par, getting out into nature can be just the soul vitamin you need.

1. Eldridge Park, Elmira

Eldridge Park has a rich yet troubled history.  In its early years, it was the property of a local doctor, Edwin Eldridge, who had moved here from Binghamton in 1857.  He purchased the land, described as "wilderness," and built beautifully sculpted gardens, as well a huge lake, casino, and restaurant on the property.  Despite the fact that Eldridge owned the property, it was open to the public.  The park was a jewel in Elmira's crown, attracting visitors from neighboring towns.  Dr. Eldridge died in 1876, bequeathing the property to the City of Elmira.

In the mid-20th century, when my husband was growing up, it was a mini-amusement park, featuring such rides as a carousel, a roller coaster, and The Whip.  My husband fondly recollects many a summer evening spent strolling the midway, riding the rides and taking the boat ride around the lake.

In the 1970s, it was converted from an amusement park into more of a recreational park with a playground and walking trails. 

This is my daughter Melanie at the 2011 July 4 celebration in the park.  I was at home with her baby brother, who was less than two months old, and who I thought would be scared by the fireworks.

  In recent years, the Eldridge Park Carousel Preservation Society has been trying to restore the park to some of its former glory.  Its biggest draw at the moment is the vintage carousel, which travels at very fast speeds, and is the best thing you can do for $1 in Elmira in my opinion.  It's so much fun.

(Note to self: take more pictures at Eldridge this summer!)

Last fall, we also had the kids' fall pictures taken there (luckily our babysitter has a photography business and takes pictures of our kits to build her portfolio!)

2. Pulaski Park, Elmira

During the summer, Pulaski Park is the place to be in Elmira.  It has the greatest splash pad in town!  

3. Grove Park, Elmira

Grove Park has the biggest pavilion in the city, as well as a really nice playground and a splash pad.  On Mondays, there is also a farmers' market there, which features my favorite farm, Muddy Fingers Farm from Hector.  (My friends Matthew and Liz own this farm.)  My kids love Grove Park 

4. Andrew J. Sperr Park, Big Flats

This park is near and dear to my heart, considering that I'm a daughter of a New York State trooper who was critically injured in the line of duty, ending his Trooper career.  Andrew J. Sperr park is named after a local Trooper who was killed horrifically in the line of duty in the nearby village of Big Flats.  It has a really nice pavilion, a pond with all kinds of wildlife, a gravel walking path, and a really nice playground with tire chips.

5. Watkins Glen State Park, Watkins Glen.  Watkins Glen is about 20 minutes north of where I live, and the state park there is really one of New York State's hidden gems.
 People come from all over to hike the gorge.  It also has a beautiful stone pavilion for gatherings, and a public swimming pool with a kiddie pool and a "big pool."  Despite the fact that we have splash pads and other pools nearby, this is where we choose to swim.  We meet people from all over the US and Canada there, which is good for the kids, because we like them to be exposed to people from diverse backgrounds.  Plus, we get rewarded on the way back down with an absolutely stunning view of Seneca Lake.

6. Robert H. Treman State Park, Ithaca.  Granted, I've only been to Robert H. Treman once, and only the southern part of the park.  But what I've seen has been absolutely beautiful.  It's just off the main road, but once you enter the park, you feel like you've left society and are enclosed in wilderness.  Lush greenery, beautiful hiking trails, and waterfalls.  In the southern part of the park, where we picnicked with friends, there's a lovely pavilion with a lodge-like feel to it.  I've only seen pictures of the main part of the park, but we are really looking forward to going there at some point, maybe this summer.  The natural swimming area looks tremendously inviting.

7. Letchworth State Park, Castile.  I have never been to Letchworth, but my husband raves about it.  He wants to go camp there.  I hope next year with our tax refund we can purchase some camping equipment.  I would really love to have Succulent Diva's Mama's Rejuvenation Retreat there if I can get my you-know-what together in order to plan it!  They have a meeting room and cabins where you can sleep.  In addition, hello!  You can take HOT AIR BALLOON RIDES OVER THE FALLS.  Letchworth is also billed as the "Grand Canyon of the East," so the views are pretty spectacular.  I can't imagine what it must be like in the fall.

So, there you have it.  Seven great places to spend some time in the great outdoors in my little niche of upstate New York.  Get out there and enjoy!

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